A little bite at the heart of mine...Subhanallah =)

I'm changing and i hope the world do understand...

Yesterday things turn out to be really meaningful. As i thought i was lost, walking around klcc without my handphone to call the person i'm reaching for.i only remembered 2 numbers.

0174355143 Syed Muhammad Qayyum Alhasyimi's number
0126490059 Ikhram Nashikin's number

The similar thing in both related to me is, i once loved them for their beliefs in Islam. I really see the beauty of Islam in them.
I dailed to both them and miracle comes when Allah gives me the chance to hear them within a day.Alhamdulillah..

I reached Qayyum Alhasyimi for help, to get to the person i've searching, laezha, also one of my junior in school. However it ended just there when the person i've been searching are unreachable.So i decided to go straight to where i planned to go. Petroscience.

There, i met ikhram. The first person in my life to show- a quality of a true love. Islam.
Once, i proposed to him and tell how much i like him. But he rejected, saying that...

"........as long as i dont love Allah enough, i just cant love anyone........."

I still remember the phrase of rejection, because its the most beautiful phrase that has been use to reject me. And i respect that. His sincerity and deep thought makes me realised how he's actually a matured person.

It's odd to feel when, after many guys i use to fall for, but only the remaining two are still been kept in this heart. And only Allah knows the hikmah. So there, i accompany ikhram throught out his working time yesterday and i enjoyed it. Its been time since we last met.about 2years not meeting each other i just missed everything! and many has i forgotten...

After finishing job, we went out for chat. I can feel that he can read me..how much i changed, how many i've forgotten, how much i dont remember his words.

He once said to me:
"Assalamualaikum.Awk blaja elok2 yea.Jd peremuan yg solehah, jgn ikut hati tanpa berlandaskn syariah.Solat jgn tinggal yea.Solat tu pelihara iman kita..."
1-jan-2007 : 22:55:48

And again he repeated :
"..Assalamualaikum.Awk sihat?Arap sihat sejahtera bersama org yg istimewa.Maafla..Maaf ganggu.Solat jgn tinggal taw..Wassalam."
29-mei-2007 : 02:08:33


He left me with only these few valuable words. It was passed 2years since then. I still have it in my hp inbox until now. Because i believe i may need his words forever. And again, what happen yesterday really made me realised. I missed ikhram! The way he leads me to the correct path. Keep on asking me to be in Allah's line. The way he corrects me when i'm wrong. I falled for him because of the Islam in him. I falled for him because of his leadership in leading people the right way he should. Subhanallah...may Allah protect this person. Always.

I dont remember much of what we have been talking throughout the 1.5hours. But i can quote a few...
He said...[quoting some with Qurans surah and lines]

1.We cant change people, but the power of Allah words,Quran, do. I said yes.

2.And why would we change people when we're not good enough? we ourself has done too many sins, and who are we to change people? Subhanallah...its too correct.

3.Einstien said that, human are creatures that dies at 25years old, but being burried only at the age 60th. MashaAllah made me realised, only the physical lived and we're blunted that the spirit has dies...we are no more. FINISH.We have no impian that makes us live. We dont breathe...the world of akhirah.

4. The musician plays music instruments, but the ahli kitab plays their kitab...?I answered yes.
And he question, if so...why there's still beer factory along the federal highway?Why does this happen? Where are the person who actually has to take his role?
I answered, we dont have power...to protect our belief and do so.
He asked again..why does it happens so? Because we're to afraid to tell and said what stated in the Quran. Afraid to stand strong for our belief. We're too afraid that duniya cant accept us when we are proposing better life for akhirah! mashaAllah..

5.Whats the first wahyu?mashaAllah...i failed to answer nor recall.

6.When is nuzul Quran? again i dont even know the date.because i only celebrate when people celebrate. I'm a follower...mashaAllah!how bad i am..
He stopped saying, he dont want to talk more because i know nothing!
He said, i have too many excuses. I know too little about Islam when i can score well in architecture..??
I was totally embarrased!Embarased enough to even look at him.
NOTHING made me realised how much i dont know!Please forgive me Allah..I've been wasting too much time for duniya.

7. At what age Allah gave Muhammad the first wahyu? i answered 40+ when its only at the age 40.*Embarrased*again.

8.How many years do the Quran has been distibuted to Muhammad? I forgot.It was 23 years.
Ikhram's voice turns lighter and softer and that makes me felt calmer even if i answered wrong.

9. So how many time has Muhammad SAW khattam his Quran? Only once. at the age 63.
[recalls me when ikhram asked, and we nowadays, how many times do we get to khattam Quran?MORE THAN ONCE]Subhanallah...realised how much i've ignored.... T-T How much my time could be caterred to khattam Quran many times indeed.

10. How many do i pay zakat for a year? Guess i dont even know to answer.I said my dad has been paying for it so i dont know.[truely embarassing situation to even look at his eyes]

11.How many Malaysian and how many are Islam? I dont know!!
He answered there are 24million malaysian and only 15million are islam.
He continued...if we only pay rm0.50 per week,every months we paid rm2.00,for every twelve months...isnt it enough to help the miskeen ?the needed ones?I said yes.
and he asked me back...Than how is it that when you take a ride on the train,from the first station until the last, you could still see the poor and needed once sitting and laying abandoned along the streets?Where did the money goes? flung unknown..people misused their power!

12. WHo are the one who leads in the history? Muhammad SAW the wakeel of Allah SWT
And who leads today?Wakil Rakyat.
But how does the history of muhammad creates a better man in the generation and the gerenation nowadays are spoilt?i erm...because of islam are not being applied totally.100%
Why is nowaday not effective enough that can make Islam wins?Because Rasulullah SAW,The wakeel of Allah speaks only the words from Allah, but the wakil Rakyat speaks the words of too many people.No wonder the world now are not peace and mislead!! MashaAllah...so true!

13. Everyday we have how many hours?24hours.
How many time do we gave for our prayer? 5 minutes for praying+5minutes for wirid=10minute
24hours/3=8 hours for sleeping, 8 hours for working,and did the balance of 8hours go??
I started to think...it has been missing when i has take it forgranted.MashaAllah...how much time has been wasted.

14.Do you think islam nowadays win? I'm quiet,thinking deeply.I dont think so.
Do you know what makes the Turkey Uthmaniyyah,the 3rd generation of Islam, a very strong and powerful era that makes the the leader of 3/4 countries of the world? I said i dont know.
He answered, it was the guide they have been using so strictly. The Quran as guidance.
So again he repeats...Do you think islam nowadays win? No.
Why?because we have mislead what Islam has thought us.We think we know Islam. We think we love islam, we say we are Islam but we never practise it in our daily life.



Subhanallah...made me realised.How i've been too far from my main purpose of life. I've forgotten a lot that Alhamdulillah through Ikhram Nasyikin, Allah has made me realised how i've lost my senses. I use to be granted by Allah to have the sensitivity and love towards Islam but i have forgotten the most precious thing in my life as i met many arrogant people in this journey of life. They made me believe too much of duniya and got frustrated and lost.They have taken too much of my energy that makes me weak..

What have i been searching for in life..??
is it beauty that will never last long and leave when we return to earth?
is it a perfect partner that couldn't promise me happiness in the akhirah?
is it health that when time comes we'll die?
is it power that we might loose at any time?
is it happiness that is temporarily reachable?
is it love that wasn't blessed by Allah?
is it friendship that is only referable when help needed?
is it time that we'll never feel enough of having?


Dear friend,We have been busy preparing for duniya, when akhirat promises us a better place but we have taken it for granted.
We said we want a happy life but our body and soul doesnt connect to each other.
Think back on how much has we presented our life to Allah.Think deeply and we shall find answer to our purpose of life. InshaAllah..

A little bite at the heart of mine...Subhanallah =)
THE PAIN IS BEAUTIFUL..

Love,
Me-

::Ya Allah Ya Rabb ::

I would like to state feelings that i had,i just want to share what i feel is right.But seems like thousand of words, sometimes are unheard,sometime aren't well appreciated, However know that someone really hears you out there. ALLAH the ALMIGHTY.


He hears what's hidden, which havent exist,
He knows what's been in our mind before we really think of it,
He knows what happens next when we are calculating and planning our fate

Allahuakbar! Subhanallah~

THAT EVERYTIME I FELT SAD, I KNOW ALLAH IS HEARING.I felt safe.
I know whats stated now is the best for me. It might be painful, but Allah knows every single beat taken place.
I just wish i could be an optimistic person, looking at life. In every single events that took place, whether its a beautiful happy story, or bad ending story, or never ending sadness,...i just wish that i could see it optimistically beautiful,without questioning why this and why that. ALlah knows.

THAT EVERYTIME I LOOSE MY GRIP, I KNOW ALLAH IS LOOKING.I felt safe.
Loneliness is really what every human afraid of. Nothing less, people just cant live without another. Even Prophet Adam AS are destinied till the end to be with Hawa, the girl fated for her,by Allah. I may be paralized, i may be breathless, i may look weak...i missed his existance.

And if only he knows how much this heart breaks.
If only he hears the tears that drops
If only he counts how many times i whispered his name on my lips,praying

Only Allah knows, looking at this pitty girl waiting for her love to come back.
Everytime i felt so weak, i hope i could see the nicest part of the worst, gain back my energy and stand stronger raising my belief.

I LOVE TALKING TO MYSELF.It reminds me of who i am.

I like to remind myself of who i am really, what i'm aiming in this life, who i love, my weakness and strength. Because everytime i speak, i know i could hear it.My mind digest it. My faults I realised it.Its more deeper than just talking nothing. Nothing wrong of contemplating, and think deep.
Maybe sometimes i felt sad, because i...
Hope that the person i love
Will be a best friend of mine...
Hearing the voice of my heart more than anyone else do....
Look at my heart beautifully more than anyone else do....
Taking me importantly more than anyone else do....
Thinking of me deeper than anyone else do. ....
Concentrate to me when everyone else isnt....

Its a real hope of this heart. And i once met him, just before he left, choosing to change his mask. I see nothing but sadness and frust.[keep on praying for him to get Hidayah from ALlah-may Allah leads his path..ameen]

Well, alast, i realised.Afterall, the only love i have eternally is meant for ALLAH SWT.
He's the one who acompany me the year before yesterday, even before i know the word..'duniya'.
He's the first friend i met when i born in this world
He's the friend in sadness and madness of this threathening, tough world
He's the friend indeed to supply me love, health and wealth
He guided me to lead a better life
He teaches me to be strong when i fall deeper into crisis and storm.
And in barzakh he's still with me accompanying
Until Akhirah,the future is still him..Dear Allah!

I just hope my Love for you dear God is the greatest,honoured than anything else.
I prayed my love for you could leave me breathing, surviving
I wants my love for you dear Allah is the purest(nothing more)
I hoped my love for you dear God save me duniya akhirah.
I hoped my love for you coud made me an optimistic person,looking at life and its challenges.

May Allah leads my way. I need nothing more but you, my Lord, my friend, my God. Allah Ya Rabb.

Who are they?

Siapakah orang yang sombong?

Orang yang sombong adalah orang yang di beri penghidupan tapi tidak mahu sujud pada yang menjadikan kehidupan itu iaitu Allah Rabbul Alaamin, Tuhan sekelian alam. Maka bertasbihlah segala apa yang ada di bumi dan langit pada TuhanNya kecuali jin dan manusia yang sombong diri.


Siapakah orang yang telah mati hatinya?

Orang yang telah mati hatinya adalah orang yang diberi petunjuk melalui ayat-ayat Qur'an, Hadith dan cerita2 kebaikan namun merasa tidak ada apa2 kesan di dalam jiwa untuk bertaubat.


Siapakah orang dunggu kepala otaknya?

Orang yang dunggu kepala otaknya adalah orang yang tidak mahu lakukan ibadat tapi menyangka bahawa Tuhan tidak akan menyiksanya! dengan kelalaiannya itu dan sering merasa tenang dengan kemaksiatannya.


Siapakah orang yang kuat?

Orang yang kuat adalah orang yang dapat menahan kemarahannya ketika ia didalam kemarahan.


Siapakah orang yang lemah?

Orang yang lemah adalah orang yang melihat akan kemaksiatan di depan matanya tidak sedikit pun ada kebencian di dalam hatinya akan kemungkaran itu.


Siapakah orang yang bakhil?

Orang yang bakhil lagi kedekut adalah orang yang berat lidahnya untuk membaca selawat keatas junjungan Rasulullah s.a.w.


Siapakah orang yang buta?

Orang yang buta adalah orang yang tidak mahu membaca dan meneliti akan kebesaran Al Qur'an dan tidak mahu mengambil pelajaran daripadanya.


Siapakah orang yang tuli?

Orang yang tuli adalah orang yang di beri nasihat dan pengajaran yang baik namun tidak
diendahkannya.


Siapakah orang yang sibuk?

Orang yang sibuk adalah orang yang tidak mengambil berat akan waktu solatnya seolah-olah ia mempunyai kerajaan seperti kerajaan Nabi Sulaiman a.s.


Siapakah orang yang manis senyumanya?

Orang yang mempunyai senyuman yang manis adalah orang yang di timpa musibah lalu dia kata "Inna lillahi wainna illaihi rajiuun." Lalu sambil berkata,"Ya Rabbi Aku redha dengan ketentuanMu ini", sambil
mengukir senyuman.


Siapakah orang yang menangis airmata mutiara?

Orang yang menangis airmata mutiara adalah orang-orang yang sedang bersendiri lalu mengingat akan kebesaran Tuhan dan menyesal akan dosa-dosanya lalu mengalir airmatanya.


Siapakah orang yang kaya?

Orang yang kaya adalah orang yang bersyukur dengan apa yang ada dan tidak loba akan kenikmatan dunia yang sementara ini.


Siapakah orang yang miskin?

Orang yang miskin adalah orang tidak puas dengan nikmat yang ada sentiasa menumpuk-numpukkan harta.


Siapakah orang yang pandai?

Orang yang pandai adalah orang yang bersiap siap untuk hari kematiannya kerana dunia ini berusia pendek sedang akhirat kekal abadi


Siapakah orang yang bodoh?

Orang yang bodoh adalah orang yang beriya-iya berusaha sekuat tenaga untuk dunianya sedangkan akhiratnya diabaikan.


Siapakah orang yang maju dalam hidupnya?

Orang yang maju dalam hidupnya adalah orang-orang yang senantiasa mempertingkat ilmu agamanya.


Siapa kah orang-orang yang mundur hidupnya?

Orang yang mundur dalam hidupnya adalah orang yang tidak memperdulikan akan halal dan haramnya akan sesuatu perkara itu.


Siapakah orang yang gila itu?

Orang yang gila itu adalah orang yang tidak sembahyang kerana hanya dua syarat saja yang memperbolehkan akan seorang itu meninggalkan sembahyang, pertama sekiranya ia haid dan kedua ketika ia tidak siuman akalnya.


Siapakah orang yang rugi?

Orang yang rugi adalah orang yang sudah sampai usia pertengahan namun masih berat untuk melakukan ibadat dan amal-amal kebaikkan.


Siapakah orang yang selalu ditipu?

Orang yang selalu di tipu adalah orang muda yang menyangka bahawa kematian itu berlaku hanya pada orang tua.


Siapakah orang yang mempunyai rumah yang paling luas?

Orang yang mempunyai rumah yang paling luas adalah orang yang mati membawa amal amal kebaikan di mana kuburnya akan di perluaskan saujana mata memandang.


Siapakah orang yang mempunyai rumah yang sempit lagi dihimpit?

Orang yang mempunyai rumah yang sempit adalah orang yang mati tidak membawa amal-amal kebaikkan lalu kuburnya menghimpitnya.

Kenalilah Diri kamu Rata2 Nescaya Engkau Akan Mengenali Tuhan Yang
Amat Nyata .....

ini pesanan dan peringatan untuk diri saya sendiri dan anda sekalian...

harap dapat diterima dengan hati yang terbuka...

Forwarded by MS

Whisper from the heart....

There are something that should havent been so stormy
There are something that have been so confusing
There are something that cannot be adjusted
There are some moment that cant be change or folded

I see no way of regtreting
I see no way of turning
I see no way of lying

The reality states the truth, what's been done and what's not.

No fault of being a loving person
No fault of being an honest person
No fault of being a loyal person
No fault of being a thouhgtful person

That everytime i felt like leaving,
That every tears that drops daily,
That every feelings that bleed,
That every heart that tears apart

I keep on breathing, surviving
I keep on praying
I keep on believing
I keep on forgiving,

Every steps you take
Every single mistakes
Every hurt you made
Every love you gave

Is the love from Allah
Is the love i need to take care of
Because i really love you, duniya akhirah

If i fly high, i wanted you to fly highier too
If i success, i wanted you to success too
If I'm happy, i need you to have all hapiness in this world
If I live, dear Allah, i really need him with me....


InshaAllah

A chance...

::SEARCHING RAINBOWS::...when light meets the rain..."


Love,
Me

Internal Conflict

i feel too empty this few days, as i browse through facebook's quizzes to make me a bit happier,...i just discovered a few things in me..

1- IS HE THE ONE?
Answer : 85% that he IS THE ONE
Description : He's a keeper. Treasure the moments you two spend together and you
will soon find yourself at the launch of an extraordinary experience.

If only what stated is so true...I'm not sure how he felt about me the days we're together.But in me i just feel that he is being himself. A strong person that really tried his best for our good.But only Allah knows.

2- ARE YOU IN LOVE?
Answer :100% in love(soulmates)

If only there's more option in the answer list, i thought of choosing,..INFINITY.
Infinity in love with him.SMQASY.

3- HOW MUCH DOES YOUR PARTNER LOVES YOU?
Answer : 110% in love with you

I can see that too,when my thought flashes back into the past. I'm just not sure why things turn bad later...I love and always love him,InshaAllah...

4- LOVE CALCULATOR
Answer : You and your partner are 97% compatible

This answer makes me sad...Is there any chances for us to get back together? Dear Allah, please do accept my duas n wishes.Not only me.He once stated that I'm his dream.To be with me.To be the father of my children.That's what he once dreamt of. I hope he never forget it.

5- Relationship Evaluation Quiz
Answer :



I just...missed him T-T

6- What's your soulmate like?
Answer : Your soul mate is sensitive and attentive. He / she takes pleasure in making sure both of you feel comfortable, secure and blissful in the relationship. He / she incorporates all the virtues of being trust-worthy, loyal, and a good listener. You'll find yourself so pampered in the relationship that you would never want to leave.

He once was that person.Its just that he left, with some reason-only he knows.He may have some weakness, but i guess every human made mistakes, learn from mistakes, and improve by time. I just dream of a chance.If ever i made him disapointed, i just hope that he may give me another chance to improve.

7- Is she/he crushing you back?
Answer : He is falling for you

Hope its true. That he never forgets me. Because this love i'm having never faded. The worst part is that, i dont know how to leave, even after you've left. Love you dear.. T-T

8- What love quote are you?
Answer : "Make me immortal with a kiss"
--Christopher Marlowe

Everytime he tried to kiss me,i rejected.But i wanted him to understand, that its not that i dont want pampered him with it, its just that i know i have no legal license to do so-we're not married, and i respect my position.I may hurt Allah by doing so.I believe this love need blessing from Allah...to survive.InshaAllah.

9- Apakah ciri-ciri pasangan hidup anda?
Answer : bertanggungjwb,penyayang dan beriman

tahniah!!pasangan anda adalah seorang yang bertanggungjwb, mengambil berat, mampu membimbing anda dan mampu menjadi nakhoda rumah tangga yang baik..kerana sifat2 anda ada padanya,,lelaki yang baik adalah untuk wanita yang baik dan sebaliknya...

When i get this answer, my tears do fall.I mean it. Those phrases really do reminds me of you dear. I rememer the first time i fall for you, when i hear your reading the Qunut doa in your Subuh prayer.

10- Calculate BMI
Answer : RESULT
Your BMI is 18. You are Underweight. You should eat more to have an ideal weight.

BMI index cannot be used as a sole method to evaluate someone's health. Please visit your doctor to have a complete evaluation of your health.
This BMI calculator is only suitable for adults.

If only i could add more my weight to reach my normal one.I loose to many after breaking up.My body is responding to my emotional state now i guess.I'm happy but i miss a really big thing now.Him.

I was never this stress before. I was never this unclear with where i'm going to.I was never having this complication. This love ever since i met, teaches me to be honest and loyal.This love i ever since i met, really put in a serious and detail desicion. I'm really drown in it. This conflict i really am,having it,inside....

Owh Allah! I prayed for my sakinah to come back one day.

Madad Ya Rasulallah =)

Diriwayatkan didalam Shahih Bukhari, Allah Swt berfirman didalam hadits qudsiy, ketika salah seorang hamba berbuat dosa lantas ia beristighfar dan bertaubat kepada Allah. Allah Swt berfirman 15.53 “fa’alima abdiy anna lahu Rabban yaghfiruudzzunuuba wa ya’khudz bih, ghafartu li ‘abdiy” hamba-Ku, ia tahu setelah ia berbuat dosa, ia menyesal pada-Ku. Dialah (Allah) yang paling dekat kepada kita, Cintanya paling setia kepada kita, Kasih Sayang-Nya terindah kepada kita. Kita mengenal Kasih Sayang-Nya muncul setiap saat dan kejap. Buktinya adalah kehidupan kita yang itu semua bukti Cintanya Allah. Namun ketika kita mengkhianati Allah dengan dosa dan kesalahan maka ketika sang pengkhianat ini beristighfar memohon pengampunan-Nya, Sang Maha Baik menjawab “hamba-Ku tahu ada Tuhan yang selalu mengampuninya, ia mengenal Kasih Sayang-Ku, Ku-maafkan hamba-Ku”.

ayat-ayat hikmah

“Tidaklah seorang muslim tertusuk duri atau yang lebih dari itu, melainkan ditetapkan baginya dengan sebab itu satu derajat dan dihapuskan pula satu kesalahan darinya”. (HR. Muslim no. 2572).

“Tidaklah menimpa seorang mukmin rasa sakit yang terus menerus, kepayahan, penyakit, dan juga kesedihan, bahkan sampai kesusahan yang menyusahkannya, melainkan akan dihapuskan dengan dosa-dosanya”. (HR. Muslim no. 2573).