Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Was I A Different Person

Allahumma solli 'ala muhammad, ya Rabbi salli 'alaihi wassalim,

Peace be upon you who came by and read in this greenblackhole of mine. It was today a meaningful one, i connected myself to a friend i havent met for almost 2 years. We have been messaging each other, updating each other's news. That some of his words made me shed tears. Realising how people have been thinking and appreciating me. As a person. How could i deceived myself so bad, when people was laying his/her hopes on me. Is that the person they have mistook two years ago, that i was a person i'm not today. I cried again. I never hoped to changed. I love myself having strong faith on things I've believed in. I just hope i am still stronger. Sometimes I really hoped to be appreciated, by people around me. To feel that i'm needed when they need. But sometimes I felt unheard, I hoped this words of mine was read by my sister, or my brother, or by closest friend. But when I looked they're not there. After all I'm a loner. I was a stranger to the people in my world. But deep in my heart i know, He Allah hears me, hears my tear, worries about my sadness and grieve, loves me indeed. I know I must love myself for others to love me. Allah, pour me your love I needed most. Even i have nothing to offer you.

Alhamdulillah he's still with me even when i'm breatheless. Indeed He Allah still near where ever I go. InshaAllah.

Fi amanillah.


mr_bread said...

go~go~kehijauan!huhu..sorila kalo aku jrg2 cntact.agak busy and kdg2 tlupe kat kwn2....habeh sume org igt aku sombong lani...isk3...

Anonymous said...

alsalamauleykum wr wb,

trust me adik...when we feel alone,it was actually we have forgotten our Allah swt.That sufferings tells us that we have forgotten Him..ya Allah

:( try not to cry but keep living with remembrance to HIM..i'm advising to myself too ya Rahman..