3 days Away - how do you feel about everything?

Assalamualaikum Wr Wb,
Dear love,

Its been time I haven’t hear any news from u. The connection just failed to connect us heart to heart anymore. It doesn’t matter so. I believe that for everything that happens, Allah has His own reason. But I’m still clear and know how I feel about everything, and whatever that happened a day before yesterday. Your whisper and your promises, your hope and love.

I don’t have any objective of stating all this, its just that as I went through this discovery, at 3rd episode of The Arrivals, I paused and my mind thinking no one but you. I just want you to understand the same thing, feel the same thing, to grasp the same message I get from this important discovery. I’m scared of watching what are slowly being revealed. I need you to be safe. I need myself to be safe too. I need both our family to be safe, dunia and akhirah. InshaAllah. Please do really understand the discovery, and understand your position on this matter, understand who you are and your responsibility dear.

I just have a few opinion regarding this. I know there is no point of saying this, but I just need you to know that I love you because most of the time when I’m with you I will remember Allah. and I’m sorry that I didn’t lead you towards the halal way of building a respectful relationship in the eye of Allah. Maybe that’s why our love didn’t turn well. I’m sorry I’m not strong enough defending the hukum as I already know. I didn’t realize what makes me beautiful from other people is the strength of my belief. You are my 1st so I cant deal it right. However, as it has ended, nothing to say anymore.

I wanted to say, that I see a great soldier in you, a brave hard working soldier of Allah, also a very strong grandchildren of prophet Muhammad SAW. But honestly sometimes you turned out to be someone different. The mask you mentioned. Dear, you said that I have the power to control it from having it revealed. But I think its you the one who could actually control it. Understand yourself deeper, see that you are a very beautiful soldier of Allah I’ve ever seen. I need and really hope that you inherit all beauty of Muhammad SAW in you, keep it close to your heart that you could always remember him and be like him all the time. Your great-great Grandfather SAW is my idol. Take his Siddiq (truthfulness/honest), Amanah (trustworthiness/promise keeper), Tabligh (informativeness), and Fathonah (intelligence) as a way of life and as example.Hold him tight to your heart. Please dear, hold the responsibility of a Sayyid very near and closed to your heart. Most Sayyid I see and know mostly are spoiled with dunia.They take things too easy. But I see you are special and hope that I’m right.You have a very big responsibility in this world compare to ordinary people like me dear. I need you to realize and have a deep thought of it. Actually when you proposed me that miracle night, I felt afraid. not because of the commitment that I’ll be having with you, but afraid of whether I could lead you to the right path I should, always reminding you to Allah and to be a very strong, religious person in the eye of Allah as a girl who stayed beside you. I understand holding the status of Sayyid is not a simple task and not easily given to everyone. Ambitious me that I hope I could be someone like Lady Khadija(sa), a very sharing person, anything precious she knows or have to be shared with beloved husband, Prophet Muhammad (saw).She’s so earnestly and with such great love and devotion rested full authority of all her wealth on Prophet Muhammad (saw), to ease the difficulties and release the pressure on new Muslim converts, that Almighty Allah (SWT) brought her great generosity to the attention of Prophet Muhammad (saw) with the descending of the following verse which says: "Did He not find you needy, and enrich you?"

Unfortunately I’m no one like her. Khadija is too special unlike me. This dream…I once have wronged you by not leading us right. My bad my weakness I’m sorry. Its just that I’d like to share what I have now, that I feel its important to you, and your family, that I’ll always pray for all of you,-arwah abah, umi, jaafar, syimi, whom I love to be safe dunia akhirah. However, please don’t take this lightly dear. Understand this discovery and think advance for your future. We have no much more time to enjoy. Both us have responsibility to go through. I’ll live my best and praying for you to be safe and success all the time. InshaAllah. Ameen.

HFYA. Assalamualikum Wr Wb.



Love,
Me

Tired...Social Planning.

Alhamdulillah...Social Planning paper was over!cant wait for the next two to finish.I failed to answer one part of the question, but though i still hope that i can get an A for the paper.Please oh Allah,give me the success of ths semester.It is quite challenging but i still hope i could manage it right.And to him, oweys in my hand the prayers delivered for him.May success be for both of us.Ameen.

Two-Third an April.Counting lines.

Since its April, i just keep on praying for the miracle to come.My love, i hope he cud feel the same thing,feel the pain, fell the sadness, feel the lost that i felted everday. I just want to put few songs that i really hope one day from now, let say if he's coming back,may he sing this out from his honest and brave heart.I know he's once a strong person.I know he once a sincere person.I know he once have been the most honest and transparent person to me.I just cud pray for him to come back,in a much more better environment where we cud complete each other, where distance wont be anymore a threat. I missed u dear,too much that i couldnt endure.

Here, i hope i could hear it one day.May Allah give some miracle to us.Ameen.


From Where You Are by LifeHouse

So far away from where you are 
These miles have torn us world's apart 
And I miss you 
Yeah, I miss you 

So far away from where you are 
I'm standing underneath the stars 
And I wish you were here 

I miss the years that were erased 
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face 
I miss all the little things 
I never thought that they'd mean everything to me 

Yeah I miss you 
And I wish you were here 

I feel the beating of your heart 
I see the shadows of your face 
Just know that wherever you are 
Yeah, I miss you 
And I wish you were here 

I miss the years that were erased 
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face 
I miss all the little things 
I never thought that they'd mean everything to me 

Yeah, I miss you 
And I wish you were here 

So far away from where you are 
These miles have torn us world's apart 
And I miss you 
Yeah, I miss you 
And I wish you were here







Dear Rainbow, this is how i feel right now...

Storm by Lifehouse





how long have I

been in this storm

so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form

water's getting harder to tread

with these waves crashing over my head 



if I could just see you

everything will be alright

if I'd see you

the storminess will turn to light 



and I will walk on water

and you will catch me if I fall

and I will get lost into your eyes

and everything will be alright

and everything will be alright 



I know you didn't

bring me out here to drown

so why am I 10 feet under and upside down

barely surviving has become my purpose

cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface 



if I could just see you

everything will be alright

if I see you

the storminess will turn to light 



and I will walk on water

and you will catch me if I fall

and I will get lost into your eyes

and everything will be alright



and I will walk on water

you will catch me if I fall

and I will get lost into your eyes

and everything will be alright

I know everything is alright

everything's alright 



Love,
me

Structure Ended!

Well,what a relieve that i've finished my structure final paper.AND THE BEST PART IS I'LL BE THE LAST STRUCTURE PAPER NOW!! congrats dear.How i wish the peace of mind could come and the burden seems lighter.I love this feeling. P.E.A.C.E.

Today is quite a funny day, i woke up and went back to take bath.Went back to the studio later and had a chat with some friends.Later a friend Hidayah asked to accompany her back home.Well, i did! I said i wud want to sleep while waiting for her taking her bath but guess wut it ended to be a 3hour quality sleep!Dayah didnt woke me up straight right after her bath, but she watched TV shows, chatting wif her siblings, and later slept!OMG ..

The best thing is that, i never felt like it was wasting time...i know my body need some rest and retreating is the best ever thing to do.Thanks to Allah for giving me some space to taste some peace in mind.It has been a very long time since the business keep on bugging me.

Guess wut, i just need to sign out since my studiomates (ariff and hafeez) are trying to break through this green blackhole of mine.May ::Searching Rainbows:: oweys be the calmest place for me to seek sakinah.InshaAllah.May Allah bless us.Ameen =) Till then.Wassalam

Somewhere in Between by Lifehouse

Somewhere in Between

I can't be losing sleep over this
no I can't
And now I can not stop pacing
Give me a few hours
I'll have this all sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing

'Cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

This is over my head
but underneath my feet
'Cause by tomorrow morning
I'll have this thing beat
And everything will be back
to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy

'Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in between
What is real and just a dream
What is real and just a dream
What is real and just a dream

Would You catch me if I fall
out of what I fell in
Don't be surprised
if I collapse down at your feet again
I don't want to run
away from this
I know that I just don't need this

'Cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

'Cause I am waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And I am somewhere in between
What is real and just a dream
What is real and just a dream
What is real and just a dream
What is real and just a dream

Guess i'm going in and out for this.Thanks for the blackhole in this blog that allows me to spell out my feeling.
Dear love, if only you could read this,if only you could feel my broken heart,you'd never take me for granted as how you've done.If only you still remember how you've once love me, promising that everything will be just alright, but this heart you've been promising to is the one you deceived. Cant you feel how i cried every day and how i tried to control the tears from coming out day by day.I'm counting when shall the curse to be broken and i could see you come and smile back at me.Saying and pronouncing that "Everything is going to be okay, with you here with me"

Dear Allah, i pray to you, to have him hearing my tears. To feel my love that never ends, that never decrease since the first day i pronounced to him. I love him, and will always do.That's the worst thing that could ever happen to me.How if i can never let go......... T-T

Shall he come back some day from now, in a peaceful and beautiful mind with a fair thoughts of me.


Love,
me

Half an April... Restless.

This morning i woke up late.not like what i intended to do nor plan.My cold still dont go away, and my head still feels like spinning.I think i rest enough.Just that my body seems not to have enough energy to produce any work for now.It worries me a lot. Feeling unhealthy and above all, produceless! i hate it. Contemplating the bunch of works but still cant focus to any part of it.Allah, only u know what's up with me and the whole system in me.I'm tired but i just cudn't stop.Only acceleration is needed in time like this.Cant wait for the holiday to come, but at the same time praying that the semester will end later.May Allah be with me in my jihad.May Allah leads me stronger in the 'meaningful' April.Some date are just too meaning ful to me n in my life, and i cant afford to totally tear it out of my calender eventhough its too meaningful that it hurts too much. Dear love, i hope you hear every single tears i had.Dear love, i hope you reminds of me every single time i think of you.Dear love, i hope you hear every prayer i made for us. May Allah gives us another chance.I hope, always hope and become more stronger without you.Thank God i found you.

Love,
me

Nervous!

Starting a line...to proceed with the next.

A design of heart. An experience of life. A writing of emotion.

Thanks for hearing.Thanks for allowing me, to start screaming and sharing. Share my heart out. Congratulation baby... and all the best to ::= Searching Rainbows =:: =)

Alhamdulillah. May Allah leads the way.Peace and selawat for our beloved Caliph Muhammad SAW. Ameen.