Monday, March 14, 2011

MashaAllah...Let him shine Allah :)


I saw him

I caught myself wandering and finding him

I found peace and love

I found more than just happiness within

But safety of akhirah that leads me to wanting him

MashaAllah this person

Is more than just attraction of look

Is more than just a piece of art

Is more than just a valuable thing to keep

Everytime i look, brings a lot of happiness

Reminds me to akhirah

Reminds me to Muhammad ya Rasulullah

Reminds me of Allah

He is a person that shines

That the glow makes me attracted to him.

Allah can you give me this beautiful person who shines

For him to teach me and guide me to You with his love.

MashaAllah..i wanted to be guided and to guide towrds righteous,

Please let him keep on glowing,

Please let him be a stronger person to leads Islam to the world

Please let him be a person who bring remembrance among us to you Allah

Please let him be a person who brings ukhwah among us 'rajul'

Please protect his imaan and taqwa

Please protect his islaam and ihsaan

Please guide us to be a better person.

MashaAllah. This love :)

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Does hardwork makes a difference?



Seems like my mind is clearly still functional around this time, that i'm able to digest some thoughts before i go to sleep after a long, tiring day.

What i have in mind is would there be a differences between people who worked hard and who hasn't..?

Well people might have their own opinion on this depending on their personal experience in life. Some may think that, they could easily get what they want because they believe in luck. Some other may take forgranted about working hard since they easily got what they want in life. But life isnt that easy, as a subtle thing of richness and power that Allah granted, may be a test of Imaan from Allah the Most Generous.

All this while i have learnt that(it might be wrong but its just an opinion) how can a person who worked hard doesnt get any benefit of what he/she's been working for. What do you expect? Wait all day for rain of gold fallen from the sky?

"Hai manusia, sesungguhnya kamu telah berusaha bersungguh-sungguh menuju Tuhanmu, maka pasti kamu akan menemuiNya"
(Quraan, Al-Insyiqaaq;6)

"Bukankah Kami telah melapangkan untukmu dadamu?(1)
Dan kami telah menghilangkan daripadamu bebanmu,(2)
yang memberatkan punggungmu?(3)
Dan kami tinggikan bagimu sebutan (nama)mu.(4)
Kerana sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan, (5)
sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan. (6)
Maka apabila kamu telah selesai (dari segala urusan), kerjakanlah dengan sungguh-sungguh (urusan) yang lain,(7)
dan hanya kepada Tuhanmulah hendaknya kamu berharap(8)"

(Quraan, Alam Nasyrah)

"Dan sesungguhnya akhir itu lebih baik bagimu dari permulaan, Dan kelak Tuhanmu pasti memberikan Karunia-Nya kepadamu, lalu (hati) kamu menjadi puas"
(Quraan, Adh-Dhuha ;4-5)

I thank Allah for the test of hardness that He gave me. And sometimes when I looked at it, the hardship that He puts on me is really something that is good to challenge me to be a better Caliph, a better man (if only we take it in a positive dimension). As a proof, today He gave me a real big present, that for others it might just be nothing, but after the hardship, He Allah knows how to treat patience and sabr. Through events, or people, He'll make it easy and smooth, after a hardworking attitudes followed by Tawakkal.

Allah the Most Gracious!! Subhanallah! Thanks for hearing me Allah. Thanks for being fair to me. Thanks for loving me. And I believe, same will Allah treat you, as long as you tried all you will, with patience and ikhlaas, to the journey of success InshaAllah.

After a black sad turbulance, there'll be rainbow :) So work hard. Brusaha!!

With love,


Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Was I A Different Person

Allahumma solli 'ala muhammad, ya Rabbi salli 'alaihi wassalim,

Peace be upon you who came by and read in this greenblackhole of mine. It was today a meaningful one, i connected myself to a friend i havent met for almost 2 years. We have been messaging each other, updating each other's news. That some of his words made me shed tears. Realising how people have been thinking and appreciating me. As a person. How could i deceived myself so bad, when people was laying his/her hopes on me. Is that the person they have mistook two years ago, that i was a person i'm not today. I cried again. I never hoped to changed. I love myself having strong faith on things I've believed in. I just hope i am still stronger. Sometimes I really hoped to be appreciated, by people around me. To feel that i'm needed when they need. But sometimes I felt unheard, I hoped this words of mine was read by my sister, or my brother, or by closest friend. But when I looked they're not there. After all I'm a loner. I was a stranger to the people in my world. But deep in my heart i know, He Allah hears me, hears my tear, worries about my sadness and grieve, loves me indeed. I know I must love myself for others to love me. Allah, pour me your love I needed most. Even i have nothing to offer you.

Alhamdulillah he's still with me even when i'm breatheless. Indeed He Allah still near where ever I go. InshaAllah.

Fi amanillah.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

New Breath...My Precious~


Subhanallah its been a year since I last posted in this secret little greenblackhole of mine. I even missed the words that I've been reminding myself all this while, I might just keep it in the heart. MashaAllah how precious it is for Allah to lend me air to breathe, the strength to go through the total of 24 years living in His duniya. How I'm afraid, of what I'll be going through next. I'm getting bigger and older, yet I seems to always forget how to be His best Khalifa. And even sometimes I felt wash away by things and obstacles He drove on me, changing myself to a person I'm not. Because I felt like wanting to be appreciate by people around me, the person I used to admired, the person who I used to adore, I just loose myself and tend to sacrifice and ended up not being my true self.

I'm writting this at 1.45am in the morning at Headington, Oxford. I've already been surviving 3+ months here in this cold climate region. Who knows that I could breathe the air in this country. Before it was just a dream that always slip from the lips, and now I'm here, sitting under a British shared house at Grays Road, having myself thinking about what life has bring me to. Alhamdulillah. I should never forgot the ni'mat He gave me, the chances that not every person get to experience. I'm smilling alone, lonely but happy.

Am I crazy to hope that someone would have read the writting in this blog, when nobody really know that it does exist? But this is the only place I can lay my feelings onto. This is the place I can express how I feel at the moment. Even after 1 year leaving it quietly, I never feel that its gone. I disappear just because i need time to find myself. Since I dont have the strength to tell how I'm doing up to now. Too many changes in life that makes me learn to keep it to myself. Alhamdulillah I'm back. The courage for the heart to speak in this green black hole is back. How i missed it a lot! Its alright that no one read this, but by just writting here, I fell like the whole world is listening to the sound of the heart,of a small world of mine..

At the moment, I'm hearing 'My Precious' by Jang Geun Suk, driving my feelings high up to the sky. It makes me understand who I really am, and how precious I am to myself, even if I'm nothing to the people around. Even if I realised how fish can still swim happily without me, snow will still fall merrily, wind will still blow lightly, people will still speak as like i doesnt exist. But as long as I know the meaning of this life to me, the meaning of my true self of being her, its already enough to feel grateful to Allah for lending this moment in my life.

I always feel I know my true self well, when I'm sitting alone quietly, thinking about nothing but me. I can taste the calmity of the ambiance, as i breathe. And I could hear the breathing sound clearly, near to my heart. I just love it. When I feel I know myself well. Because my bestfriend is always this person that I've been hanging on into, killing time 24 years together with her, smiling, crying, hurting, playing, frustrating, and every moment I've been spending time with is with ME. And thank Allah for allowing me to breathe, up to now. I pray that I will never forget, to try to be a better man, a better Khalifa for you Ya Rabb. My true love who understand me most in this world. Saranghee Allah! :)

Fi amanillah,