Tuesday, July 28, 2009

A little bite at the heart of mine...Subhanallah =)

I'm changing and i hope the world do understand...

Yesterday things turn out to be really meaningful. As i thought i was lost, walking around klcc without my handphone to call the person i'm reaching for.i only remembered 2 numbers.

0174355143 Syed Muhammad Qayyum Alhasyimi's number
0126490059 Ikhram Nashikin's number

The similar thing in both related to me is, i once loved them for their beliefs in Islam. I really see the beauty of Islam in them.
I dailed to both them and miracle comes when Allah gives me the chance to hear them within a day.Alhamdulillah..

I reached Qayyum Alhasyimi for help, to get to the person i've searching, laezha, also one of my junior in school. However it ended just there when the person i've been searching are unreachable.So i decided to go straight to where i planned to go. Petroscience.

There, i met ikhram. The first person in my life to show- a quality of a true love. Islam.
Once, i proposed to him and tell how much i like him. But he rejected, saying that...

" long as i dont love Allah enough, i just cant love anyone........."

I still remember the phrase of rejection, because its the most beautiful phrase that has been use to reject me. And i respect that. His sincerity and deep thought makes me realised how he's actually a matured person.

It's odd to feel when, after many guys i use to fall for, but only the remaining two are still been kept in this heart. And only Allah knows the hikmah. So there, i accompany ikhram throught out his working time yesterday and i enjoyed it. Its been time since we last met.about 2years not meeting each other i just missed everything! and many has i forgotten...

After finishing job, we went out for chat. I can feel that he can read much i changed, how many i've forgotten, how much i dont remember his words.

He once said to me:
"Assalamualaikum.Awk blaja elok2 yea.Jd peremuan yg solehah, jgn ikut hati tanpa berlandaskn syariah.Solat jgn tinggal yea.Solat tu pelihara iman kita..."
1-jan-2007 : 22:55:48

And again he repeated :
"..Assalamualaikum.Awk sihat?Arap sihat sejahtera bersama org yg istimewa.Maafla..Maaf ganggu.Solat jgn tinggal taw..Wassalam."
29-mei-2007 : 02:08:33

He left me with only these few valuable words. It was passed 2years since then. I still have it in my hp inbox until now. Because i believe i may need his words forever. And again, what happen yesterday really made me realised. I missed ikhram! The way he leads me to the correct path. Keep on asking me to be in Allah's line. The way he corrects me when i'm wrong. I falled for him because of the Islam in him. I falled for him because of his leadership in leading people the right way he should. Subhanallah...may Allah protect this person. Always.

I dont remember much of what we have been talking throughout the 1.5hours. But i can quote a few...
He said...[quoting some with Qurans surah and lines]

1.We cant change people, but the power of Allah words,Quran, do. I said yes.

2.And why would we change people when we're not good enough? we ourself has done too many sins, and who are we to change people? Subhanallah...its too correct.

3.Einstien said that, human are creatures that dies at 25years old, but being burried only at the age 60th. MashaAllah made me realised, only the physical lived and we're blunted that the spirit has dies...we are no more. FINISH.We have no impian that makes us live. We dont breathe...the world of akhirah.

4. The musician plays music instruments, but the ahli kitab plays their kitab...?I answered yes.
And he question, if so...why there's still beer factory along the federal highway?Why does this happen? Where are the person who actually has to take his role?
I answered, we dont have protect our belief and do so.
He asked again..why does it happens so? Because we're to afraid to tell and said what stated in the Quran. Afraid to stand strong for our belief. We're too afraid that duniya cant accept us when we are proposing better life for akhirah! mashaAllah..

5.Whats the first wahyu?mashaAllah...i failed to answer nor recall.

6.When is nuzul Quran? again i dont even know the date.because i only celebrate when people celebrate. I'm a follower...mashaAllah!how bad i am..
He stopped saying, he dont want to talk more because i know nothing!
He said, i have too many excuses. I know too little about Islam when i can score well in architecture..??
I was totally embarrased!Embarased enough to even look at him.
NOTHING made me realised how much i dont know!Please forgive me Allah..I've been wasting too much time for duniya.

7. At what age Allah gave Muhammad the first wahyu? i answered 40+ when its only at the age 40.*Embarrased*again.

8.How many years do the Quran has been distibuted to Muhammad? I forgot.It was 23 years.
Ikhram's voice turns lighter and softer and that makes me felt calmer even if i answered wrong.

So how many time has Muhammad SAW khattam his Quran?
Only once. at the age 63.
[recalls me when ikhram asked, and we nowadays, how many times do we get to khattam Quran?MORE THAN ONCE]Subhanallah...realised how much i've ignored.... T-T How much my time could be caterred to khattam Quran many times indeed.

10. How many do i pay zakat for a year? Guess i dont even know to answer.I said my dad has been paying for it so i dont know.[truely embarassing situation to even look at his eyes]

11.How many Malaysian and how many are Islam? I dont know!!
He answered there are 24million malaysian and only 15million are islam.
He continued...if we only pay rm0.50 per week,every months we paid rm2.00,for every twelve months...isnt it enough to help the miskeen ?the needed ones?I said yes.
and he asked me back...Than how is it that when you take a ride on the train,from the first station until the last, you could still see the poor and needed once sitting and laying abandoned along the streets?Where did the money goes? flung unknown..people misused their power!

12. WHo are the one who leads in the history? Muhammad SAW the wakeel of Allah SWT
And who leads today?Wakil Rakyat.
But how does the history of muhammad creates a better man in the generation and the gerenation nowadays are spoilt?i erm...because of islam are not being applied totally.100%
Why is nowaday not effective enough that can make Islam wins?Because Rasulullah SAW,The wakeel of Allah speaks only the words from Allah, but the wakil Rakyat speaks the words of too many people.No wonder the world now are not peace and mislead!! true!

13. Everyday we have how many hours?24hours.
How many time do we gave for our prayer? 5 minutes for praying+5minutes for wirid=10minute
24hours/3=8 hours for sleeping, 8 hours for working,and did the balance of 8hours go??
I started to has been missing when i has take it much time has been wasted.

14.Do you think islam nowadays win? I'm quiet,thinking deeply.I dont think so.
Do you know what makes the Turkey Uthmaniyyah,the 3rd generation of Islam, a very strong and powerful era that makes the the leader of 3/4 countries of the world? I said i dont know.
He answered, it was the guide they have been using so strictly. The Quran as guidance.
So again he repeats...Do you think islam nowadays win? No.
Why?because we have mislead what Islam has thought us.We think we know Islam. We think we love islam, we say we are Islam but we never practise it in our daily life.

Subhanallah...made me realised.How i've been too far from my main purpose of life. I've forgotten a lot that Alhamdulillah through Ikhram Nasyikin, Allah has made me realised how i've lost my senses. I use to be granted by Allah to have the sensitivity and love towards Islam but i have forgotten the most precious thing in my life as i met many arrogant people in this journey of life. They made me believe too much of duniya and got frustrated and lost.They have taken too much of my energy that makes me weak..

What have i been searching for in life..
is it beauty that will never last long and leave when we return to earth?
is it a perfect partner that couldn't promise me happiness in the akhirah?
is it health that when time comes we'll die?
is it power that we might loose at any time?
is it happiness that is temporarily reachable?
is it love that wasn't blessed by Allah?
is it friendship that is only referable when help needed?
is it time that we'll never feel enough of having?

Dear friend,We have been busy preparing for duniya, when akhirat promises us a better place but we have taken it for granted.
We said we want a happy life but our body and soul doesnt connect to each other.
Think back on how much has we presented our life to Allah.Think deeply and we shall find answer to our purpose of life. InshaAllah..

A little bite at the heart of mine...Subhanallah =)