Thursday, April 30, 2009

3 days Away - how do you feel about everything?

Assalamualaikum Wr Wb,
Dear love,

Its been time I haven’t hear any news from u. The connection just failed to connect us heart to heart anymore. It doesn’t matter so. I believe that for everything that happens, Allah has His own reason. But I’m still clear and know how I feel about everything, and whatever that happened a day before yesterday. Your whisper and your promises, your hope and love.

I don’t have any objective of stating all this, its just that as I went through this discovery, at 3rd episode of The Arrivals, I paused and my mind thinking no one but you. I just want you to understand the same thing, feel the same thing, to grasp the same message I get from this important discovery. I’m scared of watching what are slowly being revealed. I need you to be safe. I need myself to be safe too. I need both our family to be safe, dunia and akhirah. InshaAllah. Please do really understand the discovery, and understand your position on this matter, understand who you are and your responsibility dear.

I just have a few opinion regarding this. I know there is no point of saying this, but I just need you to know that I love you because most of the time when I’m with you I will remember Allah. and I’m sorry that I didn’t lead you towards the halal way of building a respectful relationship in the eye of Allah. Maybe that’s why our love didn’t turn well. I’m sorry I’m not strong enough defending the hukum as I already know. I didn’t realize what makes me beautiful from other people is the strength of my belief. You are my 1st so I cant deal it right. However, as it has ended, nothing to say anymore.

I wanted to say, that I see a great soldier in you, a brave hard working soldier of Allah, also a very strong grandchildren of prophet Muhammad SAW. But honestly sometimes you turned out to be someone different. The mask you mentioned. Dear, you said that I have the power to control it from having it revealed. But I think its you the one who could actually control it. Understand yourself deeper, see that you are a very beautiful soldier of Allah I’ve ever seen. I need and really hope that you inherit all beauty of Muhammad SAW in you, keep it close to your heart that you could always remember him and be like him all the time. Your great-great Grandfather SAW is my idol. Take his Siddiq (truthfulness/honest), Amanah (trustworthiness/promise keeper), Tabligh (informativeness), and Fathonah (intelligence) as a way of life and as example.Hold him tight to your heart. Please dear, hold the responsibility of a Sayyid very near and closed to your heart. Most Sayyid I see and know mostly are spoiled with dunia.They take things too easy. But I see you are special and hope that I’m right.You have a very big responsibility in this world compare to ordinary people like me dear. I need you to realize and have a deep thought of it. Actually when you proposed me that miracle night, I felt afraid. not because of the commitment that I’ll be having with you, but afraid of whether I could lead you to the right path I should, always reminding you to Allah and to be a very strong, religious person in the eye of Allah as a girl who stayed beside you. I understand holding the status of Sayyid is not a simple task and not easily given to everyone. Ambitious me that I hope I could be someone like Lady Khadija(sa), a very sharing person, anything precious she knows or have to be shared with beloved husband, Prophet Muhammad (saw).She’s so earnestly and with such great love and devotion rested full authority of all her wealth on Prophet Muhammad (saw), to ease the difficulties and release the pressure on new Muslim converts, that Almighty Allah (SWT) brought her great generosity to the attention of Prophet Muhammad (saw) with the descending of the following verse which says: "Did He not find you needy, and enrich you?"

Unfortunately I’m no one like her. Khadija is too special unlike me. This dream…I once have wronged you by not leading us right. My bad my weakness I’m sorry. Its just that I’d like to share what I have now, that I feel its important to you, and your family, that I’ll always pray for all of you,-arwah abah, umi, jaafar, syimi, whom I love to be safe dunia akhirah. However, please don’t take this lightly dear. Understand this discovery and think advance for your future. We have no much more time to enjoy. Both us have responsibility to go through. I’ll live my best and praying for you to be safe and success all the time. InshaAllah. Ameen.

HFYA. Assalamualikum Wr Wb.